This is a TGEFM reader-submitted review, done as part of TGEFM’s reviewer try outs process. It may have been edited for content, spelling, or grammar but otherwise reflects the thoughts and opinions of the submitter.
Review by itsaduck
Outpunx Records – 03 Feb 2023
Not what you are expecting
You might assume that “Anal Beads” by the Middle-Aged Queers is an unusual metaphor for the bumps in the road of a relationship or the emotional convulsions of modern life. Quite the contrary, the lyrics are flowery if sometimes strained literal descriptions of inserting and removing the titular device.
“Anal Beads” is a bit of a departure for the MAQ’s; more melodic and anticipatory, with less of the ironic punk/metal edge of their previous recordings. After a brief count-in, giving us a few second to catch our breath for what we know is coming, we are hit with a bass line mimicking the act itself, pulling relentlessly downward, while the guitar sets a mood of melancholy and surrender. The vocals sound plaintive and almost regretful, with lyrics so unexpectedly anodyne (possibly excepting the chorus) that if you didn’t know the title you might not think twice about playing this for your mom. This is a driving song that would be perfect for the train ride home after a long day, or hanging out in the basement with a beer.
The recording lacks polish but doesn’t suffer from poor quality. Nothing sounds wrong, but you can feel the slight imprecision of a band feeling their way through. Every hit isn’t lined up perfectly in the overproduced style we get from even low-cost recordings in this digitized age; the song has an easy looseness, a little reminiscent of The Velvet Underground‘s “I’ll Be Your Mirror.”
This is a good song. A better song frankly than the kitsch I expected from the title and the band’s name. Check it out – it might make your Valentine’s Day playlist.
the white drew carey (aka – Jeff Sorley) is the founder and head editor of TGEFM. He’s lived (outside of) Chicago, Madison WI, (ugh) Penn State, Lyon FR, Oxford UK, central New Jersey, and now within earshot of SFO in the Bay Area. When not scouring the web for more great bands and labels to post about, he also spends time drawing (mostly) silly sci-fi and anime stuff under the name Asplenia Studios.
