Mom’s Basement Records, 2 July 2021
VonErichs go headhunting and find RamonesMania goodness.
I’m honestly not sure where I’m at with wrestling right now. As a kid, I loved professional wrestling. I grew up in the late-80’s/early-90’s heyday, collecting wrestling action figures (Andre The Giant, Hulk, Ultimate Warrior, George “The Animal” Steele, and King Kong Bundy all loom large in my memory), watching The Undertaker defeat Hulk at Survivor Series with my grandpa, and re-enacting wrestling matches with siblings and friends. Then, after a while, I drifted away and stopped watching for a long time. But recently, my kids have gotten into wrestling and I’ve had the chance to watch docs on Andre, Ultimate Warrior, and Mick Foley with them. On top of that, I’ve been teased with some wrestling-themed music fun, including a recent wrestling-themed video from Germany’s The Cheap Pops and the couple of early singles dropped by VonErichs during the build-up to the debut album First Blood Match.
VonErichs (who are almost certainly not connected to The Jasons nor Black Russians) sound an awful lot like those slasher flick sycophants and their commie counterparts (the two did drop a split late last year). The songs are melodic, Ramones-indebted punk rock with catchy-as-can-be choruses, but instead of singing about murders at Crystal Lake, they’re singing about sharpshooters, figure fours, and heroes and heels like the Repo Man (in alternating vocals that are sometimes snotty and sometimes ravaged, not unlike those heard from the aforementioned Jasons and Black Russians). On First Blood Match, there are a few victorious faces, some dastardly heels, and no jobbers to be found.
First Blood Match’s hooks apply a headlock. Shredding and melodic lead guitars dance all over my brain from songs like the Hulkamania-inspired opener “Runnin’ Wild”, the Bad News Brown homage “Ghetto Blaster”, and the Demolition tribute “Smasher Gave Me The Ax (When Crush Started Coming Around)”. And “Ghetto Blaster” mixes the lead over slayed guitar riffs and ends up being one of my favorite musical numbers on the record while “Smasher” has an infectious musical drop-out on the chorus. Coming off the ropes, others like pre-release singles “Repo Man” (and it’s catchy spell out chorus of “R-e-p-o man”) and the “Figure Four” send-up to Greg “The Hammer” Valentine bask in driving punk rock while earworm melodies on “Texas Tornado” and the bass-driven plea “Elizabeth” stick to my brain like glue.
A few others also tag in, bringing in a second dose of energy and fight along the way. “Neidhart” opens with a heavy-footed anvil stomp before going big on the gang-vocals chorus with the “Wrestlemania”-worthy line “you broke my Neidhart”. “Horsemen” does the same, with an everybody-now shoutalong of “four fingers in the air, two things are true in life, that diamonds are forever, and the Horsemen never die”. “Cocaine” goes for a Velvet Underground “Heroin” pastiche with the song accelerating as the cocaine takes hold all the while making funny references to Macho Man and Hulk. Even the easy-breezy and inspired surf/doo-wop song “Kamala” hits right. Backing vocals come across gorgeous and the hooks last for days while they go on about having a kid eaten by Kamala during a poorly considered trip to Uganda. Everywhere I turn, there’s something I’ll remember as clearly as I remember George “The Animal” Steele munching on a turnbuckle.
First Blood Match is a silly pop punk freakshow, mysterious and intriguing, yet also bursting with energy and pop hooks. Like pro wrestling, it’s shallow fun that’ll get you singing along and loving every minute of it.
Favorite song: “Ghetto Blaster”
Favorite moment: the Undertaker-pops-out-of-a-casket-and-scares-Yokozuna-level surprise when the “Neidhart” chorus hits and the whole song opens up and goes next-level
Favorite whatever else: the throwback wistfulness of a Ugandan vacation gone awry on “Kamala”
ryan is a reviewer and news editor for TGEFM. He’s very secretive, he might be an alien.
