Roll of the Dice is a short interview format with a variable amount of questions. A Pair of dice is rolled and the total, between 2 and 12, is the amount of questions we can ask. All questions are given to the interviewee(s) at once, and no follow-ups are allowed. The interview may be lightly edited for content and clarity.
On the upcoming EP Left On Delmar, Chase Spruiell aka Big Loser, is looking at himself from a new perspective, a healthier point of view. The new EP, due 19 May on Black Numbers, sees Big Loser looking inward following a breakup and accepting his share of the blame. Chase joined TGEFM for a Roll of the Dice interview series where we discussed the new record, some of the obstacles he’s overcome to get here and what’s next for Big Loser.
Thank you so much for agreeing to this interview. Congrats on the upcoming release of Left On Delmar Dr. Personally, I’ve been beyond impressed with it. For the uninitiated, could you tell us a bit about yourself, the record and how it came about?
Well thanks for asking me and thanks for the kind words! As a precursor and partial answer to your question, I’ll be the only one answering these questions because I’m technically the only permanent member. big loser used to be called Free Kittens & Bread, and before I changed the name, I tried and failed at keeping the same 4 members together as “the band.” Life gets in the way, ya know? so I changed the name in 2019 to be more of a solo project with rotating members. For instance, the EP came about because I wrote a few songs in early 2022 that I wanted to put out as soon as possible, and our label put me in contact with Scotty Sandwhich, who has a studio out of Durham, NC. The vibe between Scotty and I was very real, and the creative juices flowed like the mighty Mississippi. The label and I decided it would be a good opportunity to get back on tour, so we planned a month-long tour through the midwest, Canada, and the east coast, with plans of recording in Durham at the end of it. It’s always been tough finding musicians that can tour with me, and for this tour, I ended up finding a drummer from Minnesota via Facebook, an old friend from France to fly over and play lead guitar, and luckily, a bassist who lives in Austin. We all met up a week before the tour to learn the songs and take ’em on the road. It was a fantastic trip besides our bassist not being able to make it into Canada (he joined up with us for the last leg)
What album or band or significant singles made you go “Yeah, this is what I want to do” Not just an influence but who or what was the catalyst?
Against Me! was the first band I became obsessed with, and to be frank, probably the only band I’ve ever been obsessed with. The pairing of infinite, raw, chaotic energy and poignant lyrics was not something I knew existed in the punk world. Although, to be fair, my knowledge of the punk world was incredibly limited at that time. I became truly obsessed with the Steve Prefontaine-esque philosophy that this band had of offering up every molecule of energy that their body possessed for a single performance. Scream until you’re coughing up blood? Yeah, like literally.
What is it about music that you are most passionate about? What motivates you to keep writing?
Ah, my mortal enemy: motivation. To be completely honest, what used to drive me was the idea that success and recognition as an artist would somehow cure my alcoholism, drug addictions, and my frequently debilitating depression. All of which were my fuel to feed the flame of songwriting. Obviously, I was wrong, but those were my motivations back then. Today, I’d say that my motivations in the context of creating art are of a cathartic nature, especially this EP. Writing those songs helped me work through and make sense of the emotions that I was experiencing after the end of that particular relationship. Another thing that motivates me is a lyric by Leonard Cohen, “forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” GOD DAMN I want to write a line someday that’s half as good as that.
How would you compare the recording of Left On Delmar Drive in comparison to Love You, Barely Living?
The process of LYBL took place when I cold turkeyed all drugs and alcohol and was in “white knuckle sobriety,” which means I wasn’t in a recovery program or anything like that. So all of my energy went into the record and making it perfect. It was as if my life depended on it. It wasn’t a healthy place to be, and I don’t think I treated my bandmates very well at the time. I was in a very OCD place. I couldn’t see the forest through the trees. Luckily, with this EP, I took a step back and let things unfold however they needed to unfold. I joined AA about 2 years ago, and it’s allowed me to practice surrendering my willpower to the universe, which has been a huge help for me. It allowed me to simply enjoy the process and the music that we created.
What’s the state of the scene from your point of view? We are living in a “just deal with COVID” world and everything about this timeline is some level of completely fucked. Beyond the lyrics, what impact, if
any, does the current cultural and political landscape have on the band?
As with a lot of artists, COVID nearly took me out. Not only physically, because I got COVID and then developed bacterial pneumonia, which almost killed me, but musically. I gave up for a bit, and thought I might never come back to it. It’s been nice to see restrictions lifted and things turn to a somewhat normal state. For instance, we were able to tour last year, and that really brought my heart back into it. I love touring and seeing all of my friends.
The music world has also changed a lot over the last few years. What are some of the biggest industry changes you’ve come across in your time within the scene?
Since COVID, I’ve been incredibly disconnected from the music scene. I moved from Austin to a smaller town called San Marcos, which is about 30 minutes south, about a year and a half ago. Since I’ve lived here, I have not kept up with anything, which is why I’m moving back to Austin this year. The one thing I have noticed though is the music industry is over-saturated with artists, but in kind of a good way. I hear about a new band everyday, and most of them are quite good
Which of the new songs are you most excited to bring to a live audience? What can fans expect from Big Loser’s live shows?
“i’m rubber, you’re glue,” definitely. We played that on tour last year, and when we’re vibing together on stage, I can’t keep a smile off of my face. it’s so much fun. I love singing deprecating songs and laughing the whole time.
I used to worry about our performances. I wanted everything to “sound good.” haha but that was 100% my ego. For our future performances, I only want to focus on staying present in the songs, sharing the stage with people I love, and doing my best to connect to the audience.
One of our obligatory questions in these interviews also tends to be the one I have found most important on a personal level. Who are some bands on your radar that TGEFM readers may not know about, but you think
they should?
Oh hell yeah. My friend Jon, who is from Toronto, was just staying with me for a couple of days down here in Texas because one of our close friends had a death in the family. He used to be in a band called Pseudo, but is working on a new project called PEOPLEVIOLENCE that is going to be fucking amazing. He showed me some of their demos and I’m so stoked for that band.
Beyond the release of Left On Delmar Dr,” what’s next for Big Loser?
Hopefully, we can get in the studio this year. I have an entire record written, but I’ll just need to scrounge up the money to make it happen, which is a running theme in my music career. Also, we’re looking to tour by opening for another band this year. Fingers crossed.
Was there anything I missed that you’d like to share or dive deeper into with our readers?
1. The Sinner on Netflix is sick.
2. Everyone can benefit from therapy.
3. Resenting someone is like drinking poison and hoping the person you resent dies from it.
Bad Dad (occasionally called Ed) has been on the periphery of the punk and punk-adjacent scene for over twenty years. While many contributors to this site have musical experience and talent, Ed’s musical claim to fame comes from his time in arguably the most punk rock Blockbuster Video district in NJ where he worked alongside members of Blanks 77, Best Hit TV and Brian Fallon. He is more than just an awful father to his 2 daughters, he is also a dreadful husband, a subpar writer, a terrible dresser and has a severe deficiency in all things talent… but hey, at least he’s self-aware, amirite?
Check out the pathetic attempts at photography on his insta at https://www.instagram.com/bad_dad_photography/
