Ray Hawthorne has never really done the whole “mysterious artist” thing… if anything he’s turned oversharing into an art form all its own. What started as a last-ditch swing at honesty on Heartbreak Feels Good in a Place Like This has snowballed into a run of music that’s equal parts self-deprecating, nostalgic and brutally real, all delivered with the tone of a guy who’ll roast himself before you ever get the chance, as seen on Ray Hawthorne Isn’t Real. For his interview with TGEFM, we got to dig into the chaos behind the charm; the spirals, the marathons, the scene-kid DNA, the Yu-Gi-Oh battles… and how Ray keeps turning all of it into something worth hitting repeat on.
Your debut solo EP; Heartbreak Feels Good in a Place Like This showcases a mix of nostalgia and vulnerability. How did you approach balancing those elements when writing it?
Yo, digging all the way back to my first EP after I have released approximately six thousand songs is fucking awesome. So first off, kudos to you. Now, time for a longer answer than you most likely anticipated. Pull up a chair, maybe bring a snack.
Heartbreak as a project was supposed to be my final go at music. Ever since I was 13 years old I attempted to make music that strangers would care about. I chased trends and tried desperately to record ANYTHING that would make people think I was cool. Maybe, if I was lucky, a girl might even like me eventually. You know, normal rock and roll origin story. So the years went by and that grind became my life. I would succeed to some level and then fail over and over in what seemed like a never ending loop.
Then in 2023 on the heels of a band called North Kingsley, which was my biggest project at the time, I was just feeling kind of empty. We had (and still have) recorded a full length album but its future was becoming more and more uncertain, and so was mine. So I was sort of spiraling.
What could I do in this time when I felt like I had absolutely no control over my life? Start running marathons, obviously. That takes all types of perseverance and control, surely it would make me feel accomplished and fulfilled again. Right? So I did it. And then I did it again. And again. But I still felt empty, and still felt out of control. (And also very hungry) Okay, so what now? Cue the Rocky theme because we’re about to fucking cruise through my inner monologue.
Let’s make one final collection of music. But let’s just really fucking swing. Let’s make everything I’ve wanted to make but I never could because it either wasn’t trendy enough, or the other guys in the band weren’t into it. Let’s just fucking do it. If this is going to be my last collection of songs, let’s make something that I actually want to hear. Let’s tell stories, true fucking stories. Let’s just be real and record it, no matter whose feelings it might hurt or how vulnerable it might make me feel. Now with the Rocky theme coming to a close, picture me standing atop the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum waving my hands in the air, out of breath, and in skinny jeans.
When the EP was completed I wasn’t sure if anyone would care, but at least I was happy with the songs. I was happy with the honesty I found within them. I was happy that I was able to, in some way, make the type of music I grew up listening to. But mostly I was just happy that I finally had something to hang my hat on. The fact that people actually ended up liking what I did with that EP was just a fun surprise. Looking back on it there’s actually a ton I would do differently with that EP if I were doing it today, but I am so proud of what that little collection of songs has grown into.
Your Instagram describes you as “Mediocre Pop Punk. Retired Thirst Trap. Degrassi Enthusiast.” How much does your sense of humor play into your music and its presentation?
I have actually never made a single joke in my entire life. I am very, very serious. Don’t even ask me about my favorite Degrassi moments unless you want a full on thesis.
On a (slightly) serious note though, I think humor is important. I really don’t like people that take themselves too seriously. Life’s too short for that shit. If I can write things that make people laugh and also affect them on a personal level I’ll die happy.
You’re a solo artist but clearly draw on a scene-kid aesthetic and community. How do you feel about being a solo voice within a collective culture?
Sometimes I really wish I went with a band name instead of my actual fucking government name. Sort of like how Say Anything or Beartooth do it. Like we all know those are basically solo projects but the vibes different because of the band name. Also sometimes people think I’m some Hawthorne Heights side project, I couldn’t even tell you the amount of people who have messaged me telling me they found my music because they were searching for Hawthorne Heights. So I guess it has its pros and cons.
Pop-punk, emo, post-hardcore are all labels that have been used for you. Do you embrace genre labels, or do you view them as limiting?
I’m actually all for genre labels, and those three in particular I think describe what I’m going for pretty well. What I do find limiting is that whenever I step out of that box musically it tends not to be received quite as well. Look I fucking love pop punk, clearly. But sometimes I just wanna do an acoustic track or like an indie kind of thing, but that’s not what people want from me. And I understand that. So these days I’m trying slowly to get a bit more unique with my sound while not moving too far from what made people like me in the first place. It’s a delicate balance. I’m sure we can all think of a band we loved that moved completely into a new direction and we hated it. I’m trying not to do that.
You reference pop culture, gaming, and nostalgia in your interviews. How much do your outside interests inform your music, and what do you think they bring to your sound?
I think the things I’m interested in inform almost all of my music. And I think it’s important to just like the things you like and not be ashamed about it. I’m a total fucking nerd, and I’m sober because I liked getting fucked up so much that I had to stop. If I left those things out of my music it would make everything I’m saying less honest. It’s not like my songs are about a bunch of drug addicted ninja turtles or anything, but you know what? They could be.
If you had to choose one song from your catalog that best represents who you are right now, which one would it be and why?
That’s a tough one. So many of my songs are about who I used to be and I’m trying not to be that guy anymore. But I put out a song a couple months ago called “The Worst Case.” It’s about an incident that happened with my dog that made me really spiral into a dark place. Everything turned out okay but that’s probably the most current day autobiographical song I have.
Looking forward: what’s next for Ray Hawthorne? Are there new directions, collaborations or perhaps something entirely unexpected coming down the line?
I’m really looking to improve my rank on Yu-Gi-Oh Master Duel, every time I reach platinum rank I just start losing. These people that play Yu-Gi-Oh at that level are fucking crazy. It’s like I barely get to play, they win in like one turn. Just combos and hand traps all over the place. Back in my day you could only summon like one monster during your main phase, maybe two if you were lucky. But these motherfuckers are bringing their whole deck onto the field in one turn. It’s madness.
Also in the upcoming year I’m planning on really slowing down my release schedule and focusing on making the highest possible quality music I can. I’m going into the studio with some new producers in the next couple weeks to see if we vibe. Plus a few more shows around the US and a few in Europe next year. I don’t really want to tour in a traditional sense, but I would like to pop out every once in a while so I’m organizing that.
But really just the Yu-Gi-Oh thing.
Roll of the Dice is a short interview format with a variable amount of questions. A pair of dice is rolled and the total, between 2 and 12, is the amount of questions we can ask. All questions are given to the interviewee(s) at once, and no follow-ups are allowed. The interview may be lightly edited for content and clarity.
Bad Dad (occasionally called Ed) has been on the periphery of the punk and punk-adjacent scene for over twenty years. While many contributors to this site have musical experience and talent, Ed’s musical claim to fame comes from his time in arguably the most punk rock Blockbuster Video district in NJ where he worked alongside members of Blanks 77, Best Hit TV and Brian Fallon. He is more than just an awful father to his 2 daughters, he is also a dreadful husband, a subpar writer, a terrible dresser and has a severe deficiency in all things talent… but hey, at least he’s self-aware, amirite?
Check out the pathetic attempts at photography on his insta at https://www.instagram.com/bad_dad_photography/