Every year it seems my writing career is getting bigger and better. I write for a number of publications now, three as assistant editor, and just put in my two-weeks notice at my day job so that I can focus on all my writing. But as my career advances, I always remember how much TGEFM and Jeff did to help me get started. Plus, they give me the chance to write about one of my favorite topics: Christmas punk music. So let’s jump back into the best and worst of Christmas music that’s punk, punk adjacent, and everything else.
The Boy Detective – “I Renounce Verdukianism”
This is actually a song that I debuted at another site, so it would be rather awkward if I decided to slam it in this column. Luckily, this is actually a delightful little tune, so much so that I decided I had to write about it a second time.
The title of this song is a reference to a popular holiday episode of Tina Fey’s sitcom 30 Rock, yet the title actually has nothing to do with the song. The song depicts a truly pitiful and pathetically lonely experience on Christmas that reaches levels of comic absurdity. The humor actually gets so dark that the band paid everyone the courtesy of putting the number for a suicide hotline at the end of the lyric video in case you related to it too much. But I love dark humor, and it goes really well in punk Christmas songs, so I appreciate it going that extra mile to be that fucked up.
Common Cycles – “Another Christmas Alone”
Using elements and lyrics from the Christmas classic “Sleigh Ride” in an otherwise original song, Common Cycles manages to pull off a truly emo Christmas song. With just an acoustic guitar and vocals it’s pretty simple, but it pulls of the poignancy of an emo track pretty well. Not exactly a groundbreaking track, but it’s got its own wistful sadness to it that captures the sadness that can come with the holiday.
7″: Slander Tongue – “Let It Snow”
On this double A-side from German power pop group Slander Tongue, we get the holiday track “Let It Snow” and another track called “Rock & Roll Bed” which, I can’t really hear the lyrics clearly, but I can’t tell if it’s meant to be a holiday song or not. Do I hear them saying “Santa deliver” or is that my imagination? With no lyrics provided on the Bandcamp, I’m left wondering.
“Let It Snow” is, in fact, not a cover of the holiday classic that was first made popular by Frank Sinatra. It seems to be a completely original song with just a touch of wintery-flavor to it. This sounds like it’s yanked straight out of the ’70s with a pure power pop sound. Plus there’s a snow-covered video of the song to check out that seems to have a touch of holiday flavor to it as well.
As for “Rock & Roll Bed,” it might not be a holiday single, but it’s certainly a fun power-pop anthem in its own right. This band has captured the sound of a bygone era perfectly, and it makes for a really joyful double A-side to listen to.
Venamoris – “Winter Whispers”
Venamoris is the gloomy pop project that started a few years back from legendary metal and punk drummer Dave Lombardo (Mr. Bungle, Slayer, Suicidal Tendencies, etc.) and his wife Paula. This actually isn’t their first holiday single, as their first single as a band, “The Gift,” was released as a holiday single in 2022.
When you put together a married couple in a band, you do sometimes get something really cute like The Dollyrots or Mates of State. In the case of Venamoris, at least with this single, I feel more like the 3rd wheel in their relationship. They wrote on their Bandcamp about the song: “The new holiday song is a nod to our wavering, romantic love of the many vibes of the season.” For the sake of their marriage, I truly hope they meant “unwavering” and not “wavering.”
But, regardless, the song comes off as rather pretentious and self-indulgent. The single-word phrases are meant to carry so much weight but end up sounding like a bad parody of a one-person play. I can just imagine someone on a stage alone in a rented community theater giving an overdramatic reading of the word “Noises, voices, winters, whispers, noises, voices, consumes us, to pieces.” And that would sound about as overwroght as this song does.
Once a year TGEFM lets contributor Julie River break out her “Queen of Mean” hat in order to spend the holiday season critiquing this year’s crop of holiday-themed tunes. Some she loves, some she definitely doesn’t. But what are you gonna do? If you’re gonna wade into the Thunderdome that is HOLIDAY SONGS, you’d damn well better bring your A game.
the white drew carey (aka – Jeff Sorley) is the founder and head editor of TGEFM. He’s lived (outside of) Chicago, Madison WI, (ugh) Penn State, Lyon FR, Oxford UK, central New Jersey, and now within earshot of SFO in the Bay Area. When not scouring the web for more great bands and labels to post about, he also spends time drawing (mostly) silly sci-fi and anime stuff under the name Asplenia Studios.
