Once a year TGEFM lets contributor Julie River break out her “Queen of Mean” hat in order to spend the holiday season critiquing this year’s crop of holiday-themed tunes. Some she loves, some she definitely doesn’t. But what are you gonna do? If you’re gonna wade into the Thunderdome that is HOLIDAY SONGS, you’d damn well better bring your A game. (Oh, and all opinions here are Julie’s. TGEFM still loves you all!)
I love the holidays! I love punk! And I especially love when the two come together! Welcome to my own little holiday workshop where, each week for yet another festive season, I’ll be compiling mini reviews of recent seasonal-themed tracks, whether they be covers of old classics or original songs; and I’ll sort out the naughty from the nice!
Welcome back to another punk rock Christmas season! Time to round up the best Christmas songs from the worlds of punk, the punk adjacent, and everything else.
The Age of Colored Lizards – “Snow Song”
We couldn’t decide if this one technically counts as a holiday song but I decided to include it anyway. It’s certainly a song about winter anyway, and the musical aspect gives a real feel of watching snow slowly fall from the sky on a sleepy snow day. It becomes almost a lullaby because it’s so slow and calming.
Audio Drones – “Last Christmas”
The good news is that covers of Wham’s “Last Christmas” don’t lose you Whammageddon, but the bad news is that so many covers have been done of this song that it’s hard to find a way to put an original spin on it. This cover starts off pretty flat and lifeless and doesn’t really find any energy until the second verse, at which point it’s a bit too late to save the song.
Colleen Green – “Coco’s Christmas” EP
Colleen Green, everyone’s favorite stoner punk solo artist, puts out her first Christmas release. “Big Surprise” is a little twee song that has a certain amount of childhood nostalgia tempered by Green’s typical disaffected irony. Then “Christmas is for Everyone” has a bigger sound and Green’s trademark hooks. “I Believe in Santa Claus” is a cover of a song from The Year Without a Santa Claus and “Keep Christmas With You” is a cover of a song from the Sesame Street Christmas special from the 1970s, which is about how I’d expect a Colleen Green Christmas EP to end. Overall, the EP keeps a tongue-in-cheek attitude without falling victim to cynicism.
Corvair – “I Believe in Christmas”
This is just an achingly beautiful indie rock tune. Corvair’s Christmas tunes are always warm and inviting and this one is no exception. It gives the feeling of being curled up next to a fire under the Christmas Tree watching A Christmas Carol.
The Cribbs – “In the Bleak Midwinter”
I have to admit to not being particularly excited by a song called “In the Bleak Midwinter” because it just sounds like a depressing song title. But the song is actually a punk rendition of a 19th century Christmas poem by Christina Rosetti, and it’s surprisingly energetic and proves to be a much more enjoyable track than its—well, bleak—title suggests. Kudos for the obscure cover, and double points for pulling it off.
The Dollyrots – “Christmas Time With You” b/w “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)”
Full disclosure, I’ve kept up a friendly relationship with The Dollyrots over the past few years after they tracked me down on social media to thank me for something nice I said about their cover of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You.” But I don’t let that sway my review! The Dollyrots’ annual Christmas songs are as much a part of my Christmas tradition as watching It’s a Wonderful Life. “Christmas Time With You” is the rare original Christmas tune from The Dollyrots, and it’s fun, clever, and funny. Then the B-side is their rendition of The Chipmunks’ seminal track “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late),” which features a special guest appearance by The Dollytots, which are what The Dollyrots call their kids. They have one fewer kid than there are Chipmunks, but I think Kelly Dollyrot would rather alter the song rather than go through a third pregnancy just to make the song work. It’s a really fun rendition of the classic song that makes the band into a real family affair.
Goodnight Sunrise – “Gimel All the Way“
A few weeks ago I reviewed Goodnight Sunrise’s “Single All the Way,” a fun pop-punk Christmas tune. “Gimel All the Way” is the same song with the lyrics slightly rewritten for Hanukkah instead of Christmas. I have to give them credit for making Christmas and Hanukkah versions of the same song and, while there’s little difference between them, it’s nice that they created both songs.
Seaholm – “Father Christmas“
Yet another cover of The Kinks’ “Father Christmas.” This version adds some more modern production and a more snot-nosed vocal than the original, and the extended breakdown at the end is a nice touch (even if it goes on a hair too long), but aside from that it doesn’t really do much of anything to justify making yet another version of this classic song. It’s certainly performed fine, it just doesn’t come across as the most necessary cover song.
Julie is punk rock, lesbian time lady from the future. The greatest things in the world are punk rock and science fiction. Check out her website JulieRiver.com!
