Once a year TGEFM lets contributor Julie River break out her “Queen of Mean” hat in order to spend the holiday season critiquing this year’s crop of holiday-themed tunes. Some she loves, some she definitely doesn’t. But what are you gonna do? If you’re gonna wade into the Thunderdome that is HOLIDAY SONGS, you’d damn well better bring your A game. (Oh, and all opinions here are Julie’s. TGEFM still loves you all!)
I love the holidays! I love punk! And I especially love when the two come together! Welcome to my own little holiday workshop where, each week for yet another festive season, I’ll be compiling mini reviews of recent seasonal-themed tracks, whether they be covers of old classics or original songs; and I’ll sort out the naughty from the nice!
Welcome back to another punk rock Christmas season! Time to round up the best Christmas songs from the worlds of punk, the punk adjacent, and everything else.
The Dollyrots – “Christmas Time With You”
No, you’re not having déjà vu, I did review this song last week already. But this week the band put out the video for the song, and it’s absolutely adorable. Both of The Dollyrots, Kelly Ogden and Luis Cabezas, star in the video along with their real-life children, giving you a glimpse of the domestic lives of this married couple who double as a punk band. Ogden and Cabezas basically just write love songs to each other, and they’re such an adorable couple that seeing them sing the song to each other makes it even more special. It’s a fun reminder that punk rockers can be domestic, too, and that the punk lifestyle is for parents as much as it is for anyone else.
Hit the Dirt – “White Christmas”
Hit the Dirt churns out a fairly straightforward punk cover of Bing Crosby’s iconic Christmas tune “White Christmas.” Like, basically, imagine what you think a punk cover of “White Christmas” would sound like. That’s exactly what this song sounds like. I guarantee you it’s not a song that’s going to surprise you in any way, but it’s a satisfying little riff on the classic tune.
The Papashangos – “(I Just Wanna) Dance for Christmas“
I just want to quote directly from The Papashangos’ Bandcamp page about this song, because I think it provides necessary context. “This was supposed to be our big Christmas single, with choirs, bells, synths, dancers, etc., but everything went horribly wrong…So we’re releasing this tarted up demo version instead.” It makes sense that this is a demo, because it sounds like the beginning of a good song that was never fully brought to fruition. The lyrics are kind of silly and rather unique, but musically it feels like a bit of a throw away. However proceeds from the downloads are going to anti-austerity charities (I honestly don’t know what that even means) so I guess it’s a good thing to buy this song anyway? Or not, I guess it depends on what an anti-austerity charity is.
The Speed Babes – “Booty for Christmas“
The Speed Babes give us easily the weirdest song of the week. It’s so weird that it almost seems like it’s trying too hard to be weird, but it seems to just barely manages to pull off a sense of effortlessness in the vocal delivery. But clocking in at a duration of only about 90 seconds, it never really builds up its weirdness to its full potential, making it feel like a bit of a throw away track. But it’s a fun throw away.
Stop the Presses – Rudy the Reindeer
Another one where I want to quote the Bandcamp page for context, as the band describes this as “A story of Rudy’s teenage dirtbag years at North Pole High.” It’s a really cool track because it’s a ska song to the tune of the original “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,” but it inserts new lyrics that make Rudolph out to be a rebellious skinhead in his teen years. The song is just vulgar and crass enough to add some delightful shock factor, but not so vulgar and crass that it gets excessive. It’s just the right amount of a nasty little song, and that’s what makes it possibly my favorite Christmas song I’ve reviewed all year.
Teenage Bigfoot – All I Want for Christmas is You
Teenage Bigfoot turn in “All I Want for Christmas is You” which, surprisingly, is not a cover of the incessant Mariah Carey song that plays on a constant loop every Christmas season. Instead it’s a cover of a song by Vince Vance and the Valiants which originally came out in 1989. The original version is kind of bluesy and kind of country. Teenage Bigfoot’s cover keeps some of those blues elements while adding punk elements to it. Blues and punk are hard genres to merge, but they’re not impossible, and Teenage Bigfoot find interesting ways to blend the two. It’s not a seamless blending, but it doesn’t set out to be, and that seems to make it work in a weird, disjointed way.
Too Bad Eugene – Washington Square”
Another cover of a song that started out as a bluesy tune, Too Bad Eugene pull off a cover of Chris Isaak’s song “Washington Square.” The cover makes the song distinctly more of a punk song, with just a touch of Menzingers-style nostalgia. It really keeps the sense of melody and the earnest emotion of the original, and mostly throws everything else out the window, and somehow that manages to work.
Julie is punk rock, lesbian time lady from the future. The greatest things in the world are punk rock and science fiction. Check out her website JulieRiver.com!
