Welcome to Christmas Eve and my final installment of Yelling At the Christmas Tree for the 2021 Holiday season. Call me a sap, but I've always believed there's a certain magic to Christmas Eve: all the anticipation of Christmas Day to come just makes me feel like I can hear Santa's sleigh bells.. And then Christmas Day always fails to meet your expectations, but boy does it make Christmas Eve exciting. This Christmas Eve we get some early presents in the form of songs by some of my favorite artists and covers of some of my favorite Christmas tunes. From my hovel to yours, have the happiest possible holiday season you can and share it with someone special. Christmas as hard as you can!
Black Russians – Feel the Christmas EP
My biggest complaint about Black Russians' Feel the Christmas EP is that the band's name is written in what appears to be Times New Roman on the front cover. What, is the album also on CD-R with the title handwritten on with marker?
That being said, it's a pretty good holiday treat. It's got some typical punk irreverence towards Christmas while also sometimes showing glimpses of sincere emotion. The Ramones-inspired “Winter” also has a hilarious video where a person in a Halloween mask and a hazmat suit dances on a beach with unreadable Russian subtitles on the bottom that I doubt actually translate to the lyrics of the song.
Corvair – “Under the Tree”
I was half expecting Corvair's “Under the Tree” to be a parody of “Under the Sea” from The Little Mermaid, but it's definitely not that. Instead it gives you a sort of late-90's/early-2000's emo vibe as the song tries to dig in to the emotional aspect of adjusting to the different meanings of the holidays as you get older. It's a good song but could definitely benefit from being a bit shorter.
Das Kapitans – “Cranberry Sauce”
This holiday season, Das Kapitans serve us up a punchy little holiday number that sounds like a Green Day b-side from the 90's and a Christmas/Hanukkah video that careens into the Uncanny Valley with willful abandon. The song and video are both wicked fun that could even be enjoyed outside of the festive season.
The Dollyrots – “One More Sleep”
It wouldn't be Christmas without the annual Dollyrots Christmas cover. I admit that I have a hard time separating The Dollyrots' music from how awesome they are as people because, not only have I met them, but they're very transparent about their lives on the Internet and it's easy to see that wife-and-husband duo Kelly Ogden and Luis Cabezas are two of the nicest people in punk rock. This year they took a fairly recent classic that I'm not familiar with, Leona Lewis's “One More Sleep,” and rather than play too close to the original, The Dollyrots seem to simply borrow the melody from the original to create a whole new pop-punk version of it. The Dollyrots show their usual skill for pop hooks in transforming a soulful tune into a bright and shiny rocker. Nobody gets Christmas punk as well as The Dollyrots!
The Housebound Ska Collective – “It Feels Like Christmas”
In 1992, The Muppets gave us what remains to this day the greatest film version of A Christmas Carol ever made. It was a movie I owned both the VHS of and the cassette version of the soundtrack as a kid, and I would start playing both around August to start preparing for the festive season. So this is another song you definitely won't see me going easy on. The Housebound Ska Collective put together a really fun cover with the cutest possible video, as members of the collective slowly turn into muppets. The cover plays a bit close to the original, aside from adding some ska guitar and horns, but I love when it speeds up towards the end and becomes a bit more of a rock song while deviating from the original a bit more. Plus then the video ends on their adorable tribute to The Muppet Show. Someone would have to out-Scrooge Michael Caine himself to turn their nose up at this fun cover!
Jim Testa – “Another Covid Christmas”
Jim Testa's “Another Covid Christmas” could have been a timely satire, but unfortunately rings with hollow humor that makes “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” sound clever by comparison. The lyrics are clunky and unsubtle and the generic acoustic guitar and off-key singing can't distract from the jokes that just don't land.
Let's Go – “Disposable Cheer”
Okay, full disclosure here, the band Let's Go features TGEFM contributor Ty Hall and it premiered on our site. Do not think that means I'm going easy on this song, because I'm not. It just happens to be a good song. “Disposable Cheer” starts with a fierce hardcore riff for an intro before launching into a very funny pop-punk song with an almost Weird Al-esque sneer in the vocals. The lyrics are the typical fodder for punk Christmas songs: having a shitty year and just wanting to get drunk and high for Christmas. But the band handles familiar territory with a rather gleeful irreverence, and they manage to pack a lot of story into a 96 second song. Overall, a quality holiday track that makes us proud for the home team.
The Lousekateers – “It's Never Christmas”
What I love about The Lousketeers' “It's Never Christmas” is that it's a fun and catchy pop-punk song that refuses to follow any of the modern trends in pop-punk. It's one of those rare Christmas songs that makes me really want to check out the band's non-Christmas material.
Mikey and His Uke – “Oi to the World”
The Vandals' “Oi to the World” ranks as my second favorite punk (or punk adjacent) Christmas song, and my favorite overall Vandals song. Despite being a band known primarily for their humor, “Oi to the World” moves beyond generic holiday sentiment to create a touching story about standing up to fascism in the punk scene. Many have covered this song, but the most famous cover is, of course, No Doubt's version is the most famous.
Mikey and His Uke are a name I've heard several times but my first time really hearing this project was on the Rancid tribute album we just reviewed, and we were all shocked that the band wasn't literally just a guy and a ukulele. So apparently it's Mikey Hawdon of The Fairmounts with any friends he can get together to do covers with. In this case he's got Doped Up Dollies on vocals with members of Buck-O-Nine, Fishbone and more making up the full band. It's a highly spirited cover and the video is a lot of fun, but it doesn't do much to update the original version of the song.
Noodle Brain – “Merry Christmas, Baby”
Confession time: the first album I actually owned on CD was The Beach Boys' Christmas album. I was very young and still listened to whatever my parents had on, and The Beach Boys were also my first concert, and my favorite song for a long time growing up was “Good Vibrations.” So that's all to say that, if you cover The Beach Boys, don't expect me to grade on a curve. But the fact that you can draw a straight line from The Beach Boys to the birth of punk—for what are The Ramones if not The Beach Boys' surf melodies and vocal harmonies as seen through a fun house mirror—both accounts for my love of The Beach Boys eventually leading to a love of punk rock, and also for Noodle Brain's Ramones-ification of The Beach Boys' Christmas classic “Merry Christmas, Baby” working as well as it does.
Sarah & The Safe Word – “Solstice”
Another TGEFM contributor suggested I do this for Yelling at the X-Mas Tree, and this had to be the first time I was like “Does this count as a holiday song? Judges?” I'm not opposed to covering other winter holidays in this column, and solstice is certainly a holiday in certain traditions, but I'm unsure if that's what Sarah and The Safe Word were going for here. But either way, the song sounds like a bit of an overdone gothcore tune that takes itself a touch too seriously to really work.
Skatune Network – “Toy Day”
I should have known that Skatune Network wasn't done with the Christmas singles yet. “Toy Day” is actually a cover of a song from Animal Crossing, which I know absolutely nothing about, but Jer does a great job as a one-person band as they once again blend ska with jazz and ska for a really fun holiday instrumental.
Sleigher – “Seasons Greetings in the Abyss”
I'm not a big fan of Slayer so there's probably some musical references I'm missing in here, but even without much knowledge of metal this is a hilariously fun parody with a really fun video. The puppet drummer and the lyrics about Love Actually had me cracking up!
State Champs – “Ordinary Christmas”
I've never heard State Champs before, but I get the impression that “Ordinary Christmas” sounds like most of their non-Christmas songs. That's not a bad thing, it just means we get a typical modern style pop-punk song for this tune. The vocals are a little overproduced for my tastes, but otherwise it's a pretty good, pretty standard pop-punk song.
Vampire Slumber Party – “I Won't Be Home for Christmas”
Blink-182's “I Won't Be home For Christmas” is my third favorite Christmas punk (or punk adjacent) song, although I admit that the prison rape joke in the second verse becomes less and less funny with each passing year. But being one of the first Christmas punk songs I've ever heard, it remains special to me. Vampire Slumber Party's cover features only an acoustic guitar and electric bass, bringing out the song's melody more. While I agree that the melody is pretty, the lyrics are a little madcap and dark to cut out the song's edge entirely. And yeah, without some sort of edge to it that rape joke hits you like a ton of bricks. It sounds like the VLS changes the name in the joke, but I can't quite hear it well enough, and the rest of the joke remains in tact.
Various Artists – Holiday Wrecker Vol. II [Fixed Frequency Records]
Fixed Frequency Records gifts us with their second installment of their Holiday Wrecker Christmas compilation. It's being offered at a name-your-price option with no minimum. So for as little money as you want you can get a really excellent collection of Christmas punk songs. Here's some of the highlights:
Almost People (a band name I can only hope is a Doctor Who reference) give us “Gingerbread House Show,” an adorable tune about playing a house show at Santa's house that combines Christmas imagery with punk aesthetics perfectly.
Ripper and the Jessies (great band name) featuring The Blood of Keith Richards (also a great band name) give us “I Don't Know, It's From One Of The Ernest Movies” which is a bizarre cover of “O Christmas Tree” where the only lyrics are the words “Oh Christmas tree” repeated throughout the song, making for a hilarious conceptual song.
Savage Henry and The Infamous One Pounders' “Let's Get Pissed Again (Like We Did Last Christmas)” is a parody of Chubby Checkers' “Let's Twist Again” that really revels in its Christmas-themed debauchery.
Blue Cola's trippy ukelele tune, “Fuck You Christmas,” may spit vitriol at the holidays but also accurately depicts the frustration of being a queer person visiting family for the holidays.
This Is a Train Wreck take the opportunity to spread an important Black Lives Matter-themed message with the fairly straightforward “Breonna's Hymn.”
Vaudeville Remedy has the best song title on this comp with “Home Alone 6: The Quest for Heroin (Full Movie).” Clocking in at 1:32, the exact time that Disney+'s actual Home Alone 6 that was released this year should have lasted, it's a fun little joke song.
RumHam's “Bangmaid” is just over a minute of hardcore holiday chaos that acts as the album's WTF sorbet palette cleanser.
Frostbite Faction turns in the longest track on the album, but their critique of Christmas under capitalism is so on point that the song never feels long.
Finally, if Bleached Bone's “The Griswold Speech” is quoting from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, I can't understand it in all the grindcore growling, but it's still a fun time.
And this is not meant as a slight to any of the other tracks on this excellent Christmas comp where nearly every track is a winner.
Wuttin Tarnation – “Christmas Vacation”
Wuttin Tarnation are a socially distanced cover band fronted by Scott Reynolds, frontman for ALL from 1989-1993. For Christmas they've given us a cover of “Christmas Vacation,” the eponymous theme to 1989 Christmas classic, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, originally sung by Mavis Staples for what easily the best film in the six-part series. Wuttin Tarnation's cover is pretty much just a straight forward rendition of the original with some power chords thrown in. The video is pretty bland except for the inclusion of Reynolds dressed up as Cousin Eddie from the film, including the famous “Shitter's full” scene, and a brief cameo from Reynolds' chihuahua JB. But I appreciate the tribute to one of the greatest Christmas films ever made.
Julie is punk rock, lesbian time lady from the future. The greatest things in the world are punk rock and science fiction. Check out her website JulieRiver.com!
